Would You Be Willing? (Update)

A few months back, God asked me a question.  Would I be willing to be unplanted over the next years, living moment by moment, to be prepared for the season when I would be planted?  It was not my ideal plan, but when I looked at God’s faithfulness and how He has led us this far, I decided instead of striving and stressing, that I would release my desire for security (the security you get when planted...something Rachel always fought for our kids when we were in ministry), and would surrender.

In my head, I pictured myself, Benjamin, and Brianna back at home in Ireland, not necessarily attached to a particular ministry or location as we reconnected to relationships local and outside of our immediate location (as we had been locked into our immediate area as we walked through looking after Rachel), and connect to what God was doing in different places (while still based in our area), do a missions trip or two (or three), while I continued to work on social media and writing.  It would be a season of discovery. This past month God interrupted that whole train of thought…or MY interpretation of what God was asking of me.

Let me back up just a moment.  While walking through the pain and loss of Rachel passing away, I knew that as a family there were things we needed to focus on to help us move forward.  The three priorities I am about to mention are anything new in my life, but I would say that I am more razor-focused on them.  Options and opportunities in my head have shrunk even more as we become more specific about what we believe God has for us and my family.  These three things guide my journey:

1. My relationship with God.  I love that after a busy week, I can lay in bed on a Saturday morning from 8:30-11:00 am (what I did this morning) and just ponder life with God.  I can share my heart and concerns and He speaks to me of His heart and helps me process the complexities of life, often with simple solutions, or even just enough to get through the next few hours.  Some days, it can be tough and that exchange is messy, but I always know where to go.  He is my Lord and my Friend.  This is what I am investing in more than anything.

2. My kids.  From the very beginning, I have communicated with my kids (I now have a fourth through marriage to Caleb, and it has been so much fun to climb mountains and go shopping with her and all that other stuff), they are my biggest ministry.  I have always tried to maintain this balance in life, and I specifically honor them because they made some incredible sacrifices through the choices we made over the past few years to do everything we could for Rachel so she could stay at home and do this journey together. It meant we closed the doors of our home to many activities and traveling as we sought the Lord together, studied His Word, and focused on Him and our relationship with Him.  As hard as that was, my children also have an incredible relationship with God, which has not only sustained them and helped them through this journey, but has found them ministering to adults through all this at times (I am boasting about them now).  I promised them that I would make decisions that would align with what they needed to do for the next stages of their lives.  Whatever is best for them…that is what we will do!

3. The Ministry.  For three years, before Rachel and I handed over the ministry of the churches in Portlaoise and Carlow, we wrestled.  If you have followed our newsletters or lives over the years, you will know it was not an easy decision, but one God kept leading us to because we felt God wanted to expand us and the ministry in ways that we just could not do while doing what we were doing (as well, it was time for those to whom we had invested into to step into their gifts and callings and for that, we had to step out of the way).  I recently told Benjamin and Brianna, “Family first and then ministry…but calling first and then marriage.”  They may not know specifically their future and their callings at this stage, but to follow God’s call is more important than marriage.  Too many have forfeited what God has called them to do because they wanted to be married.  Once married, you need to prioritize family before ministry, but the call of God goes much deeper than day-to-day ministry.  Discipleship. Leadership development.  Church Planting.  World Missions.  This is my calling.  It has been affirmed again and again even since being here in the States.  I am not sure how it will all come together into that place of “plantedness,” but it is my filter system that helps me stay on track, particularly in this season when emotions can be all over the place, AND I AM SO THANKFUL THAT I HAVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE (AND GOD HAS BROUGHT A FEW NEW AMAZING PEOPLE WHILE HERE IN THE STATES), TO HELP ME PROCESS AND BE ACCOUNTABLE AND TO STAY INTENTIONAL!!!

I needed to share all this…because it is the heart and backdrop behind what I write next!

Three weeks ago, Brianna and I attended Campus Days at Charis Bible College, where Benjamin is currently doing year one (Caleb graduated in May 2023 just before he got married).  We knew that it was in her heart to attend and do at least one year sometime in the future (Rachel prayed that all three of her kids would attend, so it is cool to see this desire within them).  We went as an opportunity to sit in classes and experience worship there.

On the afternoon of the second day, we sat on the balcony, and as the meeting closed for dinner, God spoke to us simultaneously, with this weightiness of His presence.  As we were dismissed, we both looked at each other and said that she should apply and put down a deposit for September 2024!  Now Brianna still has another year of high school (secondary school), but after doing a bit of research, she has enough credits, that if she did summer school, she could graduate a year early and attend Charis this coming Autumn (Fall for all the Americans reading this).

Benjamin had already shared that he had an interest in graduating (Charis is a 2 year Bible College to graduate with an optional third year) and wished he could just do year two back to back, but we all said that was probably not going to happen at this stage, and that perhaps we would all return at a future date!  Ha!  God has a sense of humor and sometimes just laughs at our plans…when "we" think we can pull things together to do His will!

I also enquired further, as I am in the beginning stages of doing an online scholarship program with Charis designed for ministers, taking into account their ministry experience as part of the class credits needed to graduate.  If I were to work hard over the summer and finish the program, I would be allowed to enter into one of the third-year programs, which are very much like a Master’s Program.  This past week I got permission to sit in on a third-year class and have finished my application, which will be reviewed, and I will be granted an interview over the next few weeks!  For me, doing a third-year course will not only allow me the opportunity to process, invest, and discover what ministry can look like as James (as opposed to James and Rachel), but also enable me to study more about how to develop a missions organization and church planting structures that will enable for expansion and more people.  It is about “preparing the net” for the ministry that Rachel and I both saw that was ahead of us!

We have been spending the last three weeks, as a family and myself with God, processing what could this look like, how to deal with things like our home and vehicle back in Ireland, and a lot of seeking God about what funding for this giant step would look like!!  I still want to work on developing the teaching aspect of this ministry, both on social media and in writing, and feeling strongly from God that I should be doing that!  Both Brianna and I have a serious load of work to accomplish (which we have already started) to get up to speed for us to be able to start college this September!  It is a HUGE undertaking, but so was coming here just a few months after Rachel passed away, and we can see the practical wisdom of continuing to do this next year, as opposed to returning to Ireland and beginning the process of discovering our steps, only to uproot again for another school year down the road.  This is truly an adventure…and I believe God was giving me the “heads up,” a few months back!

In the church (I think particularly in the American church), where the emphasis can be on how difficult and evil the world is and is heading, amid grief and loss in our own family, I have become even more focused on the fact that there is a mission that we are ALL called to and a job to complete!  Rachel has passed on to her eternal glory, and I know she is reaping the rewards of a “life well lived,” now with Jesus, while watching and cheering us on, but I am not done yet and my kids are just getting started!  I have for over three decades tried to live my life in such a way that I would hear those words, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” from Jesus, but now I also have it in my heart that one day, when I see Rachel again face to face, can look her in the eye and say with confidence, “I finished well.  I stewarded what we started together, and I invested in our kids to see them know God and fulfill what He has called each of them to do.”

We so appreciate all the love, support, and prayers.  Please stand with us in prayer as we work through all the details.  I have already had conversations and prayers with some of the people close to us, our board of Grassroots International Ministries, and our good friend and pastor of the church we are involved with back in Ireland.  Moving forward, there is a general sense of peace, and I believe we are laying a foundation for greater opportunities to be part of what God is doing in the world today!

I know this update has been long, but I wanted to put it in context of the depths of what God has been doing in our hearts through this journey and how God has been leading us and preparing us for greater things!

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