Again I Will Rebuild You

”Long ago the Lord said to Israel: ‘I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to Myself. I will rebuild you, My virgin Israel. You will again be happy and dance merrily with your tambourines.‘“ -Jeremiah 31:3-4

On the 28th of October, our family changed forever with the passing of Rachel. Our middle son, Benjamin, summed it up best when he said that he didn’t just lose his mom, but his best friend. We know that Rachel is still very much alive, even more so than us right now as she is living in the fullness of the eternal reality, but no longer here with us, and that leaves an enormous gap in our lives.

We ministered, traveled, homeschooled, and did most of our hobbies, interests, and dreams together. Two weeks before Rachel passed, I saw her making a list of supplies needed for a winter trip to America. I know she totally expected that she would recover and be going! That is the kind of faith she lived and the relationship she walked with Jesus. Rachel is now enjoying the rewards of that relationship face-to-face. While she did not want to leave her family and desired to finish her mission here, we know she is walking in the fullness of love and who she is right now.

Through the journey ahead for us of grieving and adjustment, evaluating and planning, one thing that spurs us on is to finish the dreams and visions that Rachel carried in her heart that were left undone.

A few weeks after Rachel passed into eternity with Jesus her first love, our pastor said he felt strongly about the verses from Jeremiah I wrote above. As a good friend shared, it is the depths of the relationship that will determine the depths of the grieving process. We have no idea how this process will look. Neither do we have intentions of timelines. We just will take it a day at a time with the Holy Spirit.

We have not published a newsletter in over a year. Life has been on hold, particularly these past fourteen months. So what I have decided to do is to start Blogging our journey. I will share things from the past, some of the journey we walked together as a family, through some of our processing and grief, and how in the midst of it all, the ways God starts to rebuild our lives and how we see God working through our lives to finish the mission of what God put on our hearts.

Hebrews 12:1-2, tells us that since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses let us run our race with perseverance. I have meditated on these verses a bit over the past weeks. I can sense in my heart, Rachel is very much still part of this journey we are on. She is cheering us on! There is no longer a connection in the natural, but I believe there is still a connection in the spiritual and an awareness in heaven of what is being done down here in the realms of the eternal. Rachel is cheering me and the kids on, and all those other seeds she planted. Over the years, she wept many tears of prayer and intercession for her family, Ireland, and the nations. She had an incredible heart for the weak, disadvantaged, and abused.

Here is a bit of what our steps into the unknown look like.

#1 - Going to the States

In 2013, we took our first sabbatical. It was such a profound time in our lives, and it feels that we need something like that again. This will look a bit different than just a normal sabbatical. It will involve rest and reevaluation, but also seeking out personal ministry and understanding as to how things fit for future ministry. It will be a time to be together as a family (Caleb and his new wife Diana live in Colorado Springs) and we will be primarily based in Colorado.

#2 - Benjamin Starting Charis Bible College

Benjamin is going to start Charis Bible College in January. He will do a semester on-site at the Woodland Park, Colorado campus, finishing the rest of the year over the summer online. This was a dream that Rachel had had for years for her children. That they would all lay a good foundation for their lives in some type of Ministry School that focuses on identity in Christ and intimacy with Him. Caleb graduated from Charis this past summer, and now Benjamin begins his journey!

#3 - Getting Ministry and Healing

Part of this trip is to position our family to be in a place where we can receive from God. Brianna and myself, we will be able to attend certain meetings and functions at Charis while she is homeschooling. We (the family) are considering other places we may want to visit and possible conferences to attend to soak in His presence, listen, and receive during this time. I have also been accepted to start a scholarship-based online version of Charis that is available to Ministers. I will start that in January.

#4 - Seeking God as to Next Steps

What does life and ministry look like now? The vision for the ministry has not changed. If anything, it has developed and matured over the past five or so years. Now, with Rachel having passed away, what those steps look like are a bit foggy. This is a new journey, and we just need time to process and learn what it looks like to live again. For those who may be wondering, at this stage, we have no intentions of leaving Ireland in the long term. We just need to see what steps God would have us take.

#5 - Reconnecting with the World through Internet

During Covid, Rachel and I started a Youtube channel called Kingdom Living Without Limits. God started to open doors for us to minister around the globe through the confines of our home. Much of that had been put on hold. During the next months, I will begin a process (as well as with the kids), of exploring and developing Social Media as part of our next steps forward of ministry. I also have a desire to get back into writing, which may include rewriting and updating some of my old stuff. There will be more of that to come!

In the meantime...

There are several particular ways you can keep connected.

First, sign up to and follow this Blog. We will be posting fairly regularly. So sign up!

Second, follow our Instagram ………https://www.instagram.com/living_with_colour/

If you wish to contribute to Grassroots International Ministries, you can be part of this journey......https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=GDG2DN82WW3B4

We love and appreciate so many of you who have reached out to us, prayed for us, and cared for us! Word cannot express our gratitude, and there are just too many right now for us to personally thank!